This is Pistachio in porcupine form. And now that Pistachio has seen this, he is busy updating his list to Santa to include a porcupine army with which he can plan all day long…
The farmers put in electric fencing this weekend while I was away, and during the process, they “broke” my invisible fencing for Pistachio, which means P cannot run free and chase bunnies and squirrels and whatnot while I diligently get my work done inside. The last two days I have taken P out to the gravel road to walk, but the funny thing is, he is still trained for the fence (which I am grateful for!). This means he cannot walk past a certain point in the lane because he thinks he is going to get shocked (it feels like a shock you would get from static electricity). So I have to drive him…yes, drive…the thirty yards or so down the lane, then get out and walk him up and down the road.
The farmers are already laughing at me. You might as well join them.
About an hour ago, P was begging to outside. I think it had more to do with the squirrels tormenting him now that they know he’s not running free for a while, but he pretended that he had to potty. We got down to the end of the lane (seriously, I think I need to rename my dog P Diddy) and started walking the road. At this point, I was thinking this was a good idea. It was still light out (although the sun was at the far horizon) and I didn’t need to worry about the creatures of the night waking up.
Or did I?
We headed north on the road, which takes us past the windbreak. Now the trees aren’t very thick, and they’re at most 100 yards deep along the road. They don’t even come very close to the road. And it was still light enough that I could still see clear through them to the west. Well, I told myself I could. We got to right about the middle of the windbreak and P just stopped and stared into the trees. He didn’t pull on the leash or raise his ears. He nose wasn’t even going. He was just staring. I gave him a few moments, then nudged him on. He took about five steps, then stopped and did it again.
At this point, I was trying to see what he was seeing in the trees, but all I saw was bark and leaves. I heard some squirrels in the treetops further up the road, but P wasn’t interested in them at all. When I realized that, I started to get goose bumps. The last thing I needed was for some woodland creature to come tearing out of the trees and knock me down to steal my dog.
I tried to nudge P on, but this time, he wasn’t budging. Well, except to sit down. WTH! This made me even more curious about what was in the trees, but again I couldn’t see anything. The wind had picked up just enough to rattle the leaves in all the trees, so I couldn’t hear anything either. I was just about to turn around and head back to the house when P jumped up and ran to hide between my legs.
Okay, so he *tried* to hide between my legs, but my legs aren’t made of taffy and don’t bend that way, so instead he ended up knocking me down in the middle of the road and then sitting on me while still trying to watch whatever was in the forest. Removing a 70-lb dog who is determined to keep his butt planted into your abdomen is no easy feat for us mere mortals.
P finally got off me enough that I could get up off the gravel and brush myself off. In fact, he was suddenly giddy and ready to walk some more, so we continued on our way, walking further north.
(When will I ever learn?!)
We got to the top of the hill and turned back to head home. By this time the sun was starting to dip below the horizon, but it was still plenty bright enough to see everything that needed to be seen. P apparently disagreed. As we approached the windbreak on our return trip, he came to complete stop and absolutely refused to budge. I tried pushing and pulling, yanking and whistling, promising treats and runs through the field with a hundred cows, but he simply refused to move.
So I picked him up and hefted him over my shoulder as best I could and carried him the hundred yards to the car so I could drive him up the lane. I’ll be popping ibuprofen until every muscle in my body stops screaming at me, but at least Mr. P Diddy is safe and sound from the demon forest…
…and already begging to go out again.
Sorry I’ve been MIA for a while. Mom’s been super busy on the computer and I haven’t had a chance to sneak on and post anything. Luckily today mom has stepped away from the computer entirely for a whole 24 hours! We’ve been catching up on snuggling and playing and we’re even gonna go look for cows in a bit here…COWS!!!
But I did wan’t to take a quick moment and let you know that I am already starting my Christmas list for Santa (only three months to prepare — ack!), and I think I have found my first addition: a giraffe. More specifically, a baby giraffe! It’s really the gift that keeps on giving. I can run with the giraffe when he’s still young, and when he grows up, he can eat all the leaves at the tops of the trees (and clean trees would make mom happy, right?). I just hope Santa can fit a giraffe in his sleigh…
Have you missed me? I’ve been a bit busy…mainly sleeping on the couch (well, today at least!). In the last few weeks I have become friends with a visiting deer, shared my dog bed with a fox, brought mom a baby opossum, chased rabbits, caught a woodchuck, and made friends with a new kitty that’s been camping out on our front porch. So you can see that I have been super busy, but today? Today I am crashed out on the couch, snoring, because it’s just too hot out there!
I hurt my throat/neck area last week. It was kinda scary, so I snuggled with mom a lot. Then I started feeling better on Friday, so I went out chasing bunnies and squirrels and whatnot…for nine hours. Mom wasn’t happy, especially when I overexerted myself and felt bad all weekend. I had to go back to square one of the healing process. So I have been on forced “take it easy time” since then, which isn’t the most fun I have ever had, but mom gives me lots of tummy rubs, so I can’t complain too much. Plus, she says I have to be completely better to meet some special friends later this week (who could it be?!). I guess I can not chase the bunnies and squirrels for a few days if it means new friends (plus mom takes me out to check on them several times a day, so I’ve at least been able to tell them hello).
I feel completely fine now, which I proved last night when we had a visitor knocking on the picture window at 2 a.m.
I begged mom to let me out to go play, but she of course said no. (I keep telling her all the really fun friends come calling at night, but she’s not interested). She did let me watch my new friend from the window, and he was quite the acrobatic little fellow! He climbed up a tree, swung around on several limbs, then climbed back down, doing all sorts of somersaults along the way. He was really putting on a great show for us. Mom said he was like a mini flying monkey-in-training the way he swooped and whirled (btw, I am not sure what a flying monkey is, but now I want one!). Unfortunately, I think I scared him away when I started “bark-plauding” (because really, clapping my paws together just wasn’t enough fanfare). He dropped from the tree and took off running toward the car, which got mom all riled up. (Just between you and me, I laughed a little because I knew he couldn’t get into the car without mom opening the door. Believe me, I’ve tried!!!)
I’m pretty sure this is the outdoor furry who leaves me little gifts on my bed on the back porch, mostly remnants from his nocturnal snacks. I appreciate the thought, but he and I clearly have different tastes. Plus, it would be nice if he’d clean up after himself every once in a while. Then maybe I could convince mom to let him come inside for a visit. What do you think?
Look at Manfred the bulldog go! I am so super jealous of him. Mom won’t let me play with the cows, even though I’ve begged for my own herd 🙁 (just think of all the fun videos we could share if I had my own cows!)
So yesterday Mom told me all about Ding Dong Ditch. Have you ever played? Someone rings the doorbell and then runs away before the person inside can answer the door. (I don’t quite understand why. Isn’t the fun part meeting new people?)
Anyway, we got to experience our very own Ding Dong Ditch at 3 a.m. (Yes, the three o’clock when it is still dark outside!) I was happily snoring along, dreaming of catching a rabbit in the field, when the doorbell started ringing like crazy. So me being the awesome guard dog that I am, I jumped up and started barking (Mom laughed at me because I was confused and didn’t know which way to bark). When we looked out the front window, guess who we saw scurrying away?
YUP! Raccoons — three of them!!
I stayed up for a while, keeping guard in case they decided to come back, which is why I am looking a little tired today…
Have you ever played Ding Dong Ditch? Share your stories with me in the comments~
Mom hasn’t stopped laughing since she saw this sign. She said she needs to get one for the acreage, except I’m the only one who really needs to obey it. I asked her what it said, and she said I’m not supposed to play with the squirrels, mice, opossum, raccoon, woodchucks, turkeys, pheasants, skunks, deer, or any other critters I spot hanging around.
Doesn’t sound fun to me at all.
Mom laughs at me because I like to sit under the tree and bark at it until the squirrels come out. (They do that, you know…magically appear if you bark long enough.) I keep telling her that if she would only let me have my own little squirrel friend, I wouldn’t need to bark so long outside. And a squirrel would keep the kitties busy all night, which means they would be less likely to “wreak havoc” (which apparently means knock everything off the counters and shred all the papers).
Mom’s not buying it. I’m beginning to sense a theme here. She says no to all my requests for new friends (usually by pointing to the little friend cemetery she had to start when I discovered rabbits and opossum—I didn’t realize they were so delicate, I swear! I was just a pup! And opossum are clearly magical creatures because that one wasn’t moving and Mom got out the shovel to bury him and when we came back to get him, he had **poof** disappeared!).
Anyway, I found this video to prove to Mom that I can have all sorts of friends. (Just between you and me, I would really love an elephant for a best friend! But I’ll start small at first. A squirrel would be nice, don’t ya think?)
So Mom has said absolutely no to a goat. She said she’s saving up for sheep, but I haven’t seen any cute sheep videos—I mean, c’mon! This little goat would fit in so perfectly on the acreage. The squirrels would love him—am I right?
So what do you think: sheep or goats? Bonus points to anyone who can help me convince Mom that goats are the way to go.